The biker is back, with a Mumbai driving guide!

Went and fixed up my bike today. It was lying neglected in my building since quite a long time. The comfort of a car had made me forget the joy of a bike. Well I did drive it a lot today, I did feel the wind on my face at 100kmph again, I did feel the chilly cold winds at night again. Oh and also had a few near falls cause of me locking up my rear brake!

I was thinking I'll compile a small comical guide to driving in Mumbai. It's more like a list of pointers actually.

Here goes.

Driving In Mumbai (At your own risk!)

1. Mumbai drives on the left side of the road. Mumbai-ites on the other hand, drive on the left, the right and also the center. The rule is, if you see unoccupied roadspace - barge in. Like they say in hindi, 'Ghusa'!
2. If a vehicles indicator is blinking left or right, it does not necessarily mean that the vehicle is going to turn in that direction. You will only know which way he wants to go once he has gone that way. Do not assume anything!
   
3. Rickshawallas are bastards. Utilize every oppurtunity to cut them, curse them, and if he is a skinny weakling, maybe pick a fight.
4. Buy a pair of Polaroid anti-glare-lens shades. Do not forget to use them at night. You could stare at the sun for hours maybe, but the high beam on the incoming lorry will blind you instantly.
   
5. Mumbai roads are like none other. Did you know that NASA tested out their Mars Exploration Rover - Spirit, on Mumbai roads before sending it off to Mars!
6. Don't mess with the BEST Bus drivers and their mean machines. Just don't.
7. Speed-breakers could potentially break your vehicle into pieces! Handle with care.
8. Carry ample notes of Rs. 10 in your wallet. You can't ask a cop for change! And if 100's are all you got, then you are quite screwed!
9. If you are tempted to break a red light or talk on your cell phone while driving, make sure there are no tall objects like trees and electric boxes around. Traffic cops can hide in the wierdest of places!
   
10. Learn marathi.
11. If the car in front, behind or next to you is being driven by a woman, all the best. I hope you are religious. Only god can protect you and your vehicle!
    
12. Honk! Honk a lot! It could save your life!
13. Lastly, if you are a heart patient or pregnant lady, the ride that is Mumbai traffic, is not recommended for you!

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Those are all i could think of for now. Maybe I'll update the list if I can remember any more.